I’m a huge fan of yours after reading your book, “Emotional Intelligence.” Has any more research been done on the areas of brain activiity you cited in your book with regard to which areas drive EI as well as which areas drive IQ?

Also, I’d like to know if you have done any research in generations in the workplace. This seems to be a growing concern as friction sometimes heats up among them.

k:

One of the most interesting aspects of my marriage in the U.S.A. in the early 1990s was the long-distance communication that was needed in the cross-Atlantic Ocean long-distance relationship maintenance. This was much earlier than you ever tried to benefit at my expense. I was completing my Finnish military service at “Esikuntapatteri” in Hamina as a clerk, the easiest position in the whole Finnish military at the militarily worst unit of the whole land, where I actually wanted to complete my service voluntarily as I was able to enter there after some little acting in another more militarily competent unit. I liked the easiness of “Esikuntapatteri.” During the time of my service, I had to maintain my long-distance relationship with an American woman by making telephone calls, writing letters and recording on my mini-tapes that I started using already in Michigan in 1989. However, one interesting aspect was critical in this relationship maintenance, and this method was taught me by a Lutheran priest in Atlanta, Georgia in 1991. He told that the U.S. women like to hear “I love you.” Of course, I took his advice and I started using this phrase systematically in my telephone conversations, letters and my mini-tape recordings. It worked and the relationship was maintained during my European travels and military service, although my statement “Haistakaa Paska” to some sergeants of the unit could have caused a critical break in this continuous “I love you” communications. I always taught it was a punishment for those sergeants to do their service at “Esikuntapatteri” while I enjoyed it. In 1999 the FBI taught that I had spied on the U.S.A. close to 10 years. I have always wondered what Olga taught me in Moscow, 1987, when she tried to be near me and eventually married in Italy. Was the program “Olga” just a KGB intelligence program? Bill Clinton used the phrase “I love you” very often, one of the masters of its use in the U.S. public media in the 1990s while hugging closely female persons so much that only a priest could do so. Did he ever mean it or not, maybe be totally irrelevant, but it worked. A typical Finnish man very rarely says “I love you” and even then a man is more emotional than usual, and so what makes a Finnish man make “I love you” statements so often that other conscripts in “Esikuntapatteri” had a lot of fun while listening my English language mini-tape recordings and me making statements such as “I love you” – whether I meant it or not. Of course, in 1999 I stopped following the instruction of this Georgian Lutheran priest knowing exactly what happens as it happened – the marriage failed, the fact I knew much earlier, because I controlled the marriage and its end. The U.S. women just like to hear “I love you” whether true or false as worded in “Pride and Prejudice (2005)” in which English is so well spoken and only few times “I love …” is said. Even in this message more times “I love you” is written than said in this love movie “Pride and Prejudice.”

Cheers,

DI Markku J. Saarelainen

Thank you Daniel for your research and work on EI.

I read your book when it first came out, and I absolutely loved it. However, it was not until years later did I realise what a significant part it would eventually play in my life. EI is now the wrapping paper around everything we do. From coaching executives and owners to running customised corporate training.

We dovetail best business practice with the fundamentals of EI. We use a robust EI assessment tool, which gives clients an inner compass to make better choices.
I really see EI as a Meta skill, the missing link between IQ and technical competences.

So thank you so much for articulating so well what we have known for so long, that our feelings play a significant part in our decsion making.

Many thanks,

Joseph Geraghty

Simply put, there are two kinds of jobs that exist in the world.

1: jobs that requires a lot of analytical skills with limited or no interaction with other people. Such as research, mathematics, economics, technologies etc..

2: jobs that requires a lot of synthetical skills with an intense interaction with other people. Such as leaders and managers.

The first call for technical skills (IQ) and the later call for soft skills mainly (EI).

Even though it is unlikely for people in the first to want to move to the second (i.e. Technical people don’t like to become managers for instance) and vice-versa, I believe nonetheless that there is a very tiny community no more than 1% that would posses both.

Thank you very much Daniel.

When kids (and grown-ups too) learn that they could seek help and always depend on others to fill-in knowledge and skill gaps (that would have required significantly higher effort if they went about it on their own), they tend to achieve more and in essence build higher IQ.

EQ helps us to better leverage resources and opportunities domiciled in others in our spheres of influence and environment. No single human, no matter how smart has monopoly of knowledge and resources.
EQ is essential to building and utilising people and technology networks.

We do not need research data to deduce that a kid that early on in life learns how to relate with people (and in the process learn more and encounter more information and challenges that build up current in his neural nerves and force his brain and mind to process more information) has a much higher possibility of attaining higher IQ than if he kept to himself and remained content in his own little world.