Flame Out
At last there’s a way to cool down before we flame online; those folks at Google have come up with a remedy for emotional hijacks at the keyboard.
A “flame” occurs when we’re a bit agitated – frustrated, anxious, jealous, emotionally desperate – and compose an email, hit “Send” … and regret having sent it.
This happens particularly often online, as I’ve explained in Social Intelligence, because the brain circuitry that kicks in to keep us from embarrassing ourselves while face-to-face on the phone with someone gets no signals online. The result has been called the “disinhibition” effect; what gets disinhibited is our emotional impulses.
The Google software helps by getting us to switch from the hot-tempered amygdala to our cool neocortex before we hit send. It’s a neat little device that requires you do about 45 seconds of math problems before the “send” button will operate. Called “Mail Goggles,” the software operates only late at night and on weekends, when we presumably are most predisposed to sending regrettable messages in the heat of the moment.
As Jon Perlow, the software engineer who developed Goggles explains: “Sometimes I send messages I shouldn’t send. Like the time I told that girl I had a crush on her over text message. Or the time I sent that late night email to my ex-girlfriend that we should get back together. Gmail can’t always prevent you from sending messages you might later regret, but today we’re launching a new Labs feature I wrote called Mail Goggles which may help.
“When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you’re really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you’re in the right state of mind?”
To check out this virtual emotional intelligence enhancer:
http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/new-in-labs-stop-sending-mail-you-later.html
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Welcome to the website and blog of psychologist Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.
8 Responses to “Flame Out”
By Ivo Quartiroli on Oct 14, 2008 | Reply
Google, in addition to being motherly, feeding us with almost infinite information, now seeks to acquire a paternalistic role for itself by helping us in regulating and setting our limits. This simple software starts as usual in an innocent and low-profile manner, but marks the beginning of an intervention regarding our intentions and inner lives. Anyway this service can be helpful even though I won’t associate the ability to do simple math with balance, compassion or reflection. I mused about this on Mail Goggles
By Ana on Oct 17, 2008 | Reply
Hi,
We’ve been reading your book “Emotional Intelligence” in one of my education courses [Emotion, Cognition and Education] and I just wanted to let you know that your book is really fascinating. How exactly would you define your construct of emotional intelligence?
Also: You can actually make the goggles work at anytime if you change the presets under settings, it has the option of enabling the goggles at any time you choose. I am forever in awe of google =)
Hope all is well.
Ana
By Barry Goldberg on Oct 20, 2008 | Reply
Actually, Google is way behind on this one. Mobile companies around the world (but most notably in Australia) have offered a service like this for years. You can create a list of phone numbers and text addresses and (for a fee) the system will block you from calling those numbers for a prearranged period of time. Just the thing to prevent drinking and dialing before a pub crawl.
By Coretta Jackson, MBA on Oct 27, 2008 | Reply
Great News!
I am sure emotional intelligence tool will help more people consider their words…before sending an email.
Best,
Coretta Jackson, MBA
Coretta@Businessethos.com
By Glenn on Oct 28, 2008 | Reply
Everyone has email they would like to take back. This is the start of a great thing. How about options to:
- ask “Are You Crazy?” like “Are You Sure?” based on key words in your email
- have the email read aloud to you
- have a draft sent to you
Thanks!
By tlutzenberger on Nov 1, 2008 | Reply
Take a look at the trouble flaming using a lawyer can get you into. I’ve linked it at my 11/1 post on my blog http://www.greenpaperchase.wordpress.com . It’s the kind of emotional response that makes you want to shake your head in disbelief or yell, “STUPID!”
By Coretta Jackson, MBA on Nov 12, 2008 | Reply
What a great way to encourage cooler heads to prevail!
I can imagine that other email providers will follow suite…in their own way…soon.
Best,
Coretta Jackson, MBA
Coretta@Businessethos.com
By jim lagnese on Nov 16, 2008 | Reply
I just read your article in the New York Times. What a great article. The problem is, how does one do it? It’s been something I have been trying to quantify for some time and you are the first person I have read that boils it down. Any books I should be looking at? Thanks.